wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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