Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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