He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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