AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
