how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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