i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize