Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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