they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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