Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
