no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
no you cant smoke seaweed
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
