i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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