this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
