Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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