is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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