somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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