I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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