Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
