whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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