It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
