It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
