Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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