I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
