It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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