you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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