It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
