its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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