Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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