I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
