ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
