tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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