i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize