Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
