I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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