You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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