My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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