I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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