Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
