It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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