I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
