Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
