we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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