got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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