he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
