omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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