I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
