I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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