I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
