Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
