i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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