if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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