how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
