I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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