Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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