Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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