I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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