You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
