Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize